Bill Clinton | Director of Public Relations
"I am proud to be able to join my fellow Americans in all their future KickAss Parties, and I, Bill Clinton, will make sure there are plenty of booze and babes at these truly ass kicking parties" Clinton said in a speech addressing the Nation just prior to allocating more than 100 million dollars of the 1999 fiscal year budget to Speedster Productions for the continued expansion of the KickAss product line.
Clinton made his final decision to join Speedster Productions after his lawyers told him to "just give it up" and "you've really got to watch out what you use as a humidor." Clinton is now facing an impeachment that he says will "only further [his] position and involvement at Speedster Productions." The President is now being offered starring roles in upcoming print ads from cigar companies Monty Cristo, Coheba, and Cienfuegos. When asked about whether he would accept these lucrative offers Clinton's response was a puzzling "Sure, as long as I get to smoke 'em too!"
Clinton recently has been working on several new products for Speedster Productions, including the all new KickAss Party 2.0 Directions Finder, adapted from Clinton's very own Bill's Pants: Where you do want to go today? Over the past few weeks Clinton has been closely involved with world famous musical artist Madonna, trying to arrange an on stage performance of her new soon-to-be released album "In Heat" at the upcoming KickAss Party 2.0. Incidentally the name of her new album was inspired after spending a weekend at Speedster Productions President Dave Johnson's private summer getaway on his self named Island of KickAss, 69 miles off the coast of southern Mexico.