Clinton | Director of Public Relations
am proud to be able to join my fellow Americans in all their future
KickAss Parties, and I, Bill Clinton, will make sure there are plenty
of booze and babes at these truly ass kicking parties" Clinton said
in a speech addressing the Nation just prior to allocating more than
100 million dollars of the 1999 fiscal year budget to Speedster Productions
for the continued expansion of the KickAss product line.
made his final decision to join Speedster Productions after his lawyers
told him to "just give it up" and "you've really got to watch out
what you use as a humidor." Clinton is now facing an impeachment that
he says will "only further [his] position and involvement at Speedster
Productions." The President is now being offered starring roles in
upcoming print ads from cigar companies Monty Cristo, Coheba, and
Cienfuegos. When asked about whether he would accept these lucrative
offers Clinton's response was a puzzling "Sure, as long as I get to
smoke 'em too!"
recently has been working on several new products for Speedster Productions,
including the all new KickAss Party 2.0 Directions Finder, adapted
from Clinton's very own Bill's Pants: Where you do want to go today?
Over the past few weeks Clinton has been closely involved with world
famous musical artist Madonna, trying to arrange an on stage performance
of her new soon-to-be released album "In Heat" at the upcoming KickAss
Party 2.0. Incidentally the name of her new album was inspired after
spending a weekend at Speedster Productions President Dave Johnson's
private summer getaway on his self named Island of KickAss, 69 miles
off the coast of southern Mexico.